


All or Nothing

by luinil80



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Falling In Love, Happy Ending, Inspired Work, Love Confessions, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Soulmates, brief battle of Kamino, but also so handsome, commander Colt is a sap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24136348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luinil80/pseuds/luinil80
Summary: "...It's just that right after you left... I just... I started dreaming and that, love, never happened to me. At first, I was completely confused, I'm used to being stoic and not showing any emotion, I even had nightmares from time to time, just like my brothers, but then I started to understand, you started something that I can't explain and that's beyond my genetics..."or Commander Colt finally understand what true love means.
Relationships: Commander Colt x Captain reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 23





	All or Nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [letitrainathousandflames](https://archiveofourown.org/users/letitrainathousandflames/gifts).



> heavily inspired by @letitrainthousandflames clones smut series.
> 
> ..any error, will be edited by tomorrow, i've worked on this for weeks and now i finally am happy with it...so enjoy :)

______________________

...... 

After your visit to Kamino and the very good friendship with Commander Colt, you really kept in touch... he was so eager that he almost begged you, giving you an unused access code to his private communication line.

_______

\- ...and so I happened to report almost completely drunk, it was a sight to behold - said the blue figure in front of you - the Kaminoans didn't notice anything, not that they normally pay attention to us, but I thought they were smarter than that - he added, smirking a little.

It was one of those nights when you both shared what was happening to each other during the days, and so far, his story was a pretty funny one. 

\- Commander, you surprise me... Where's your training gone? - you answered, teasing him.

\- Oh, it was all Havoc's fault, not that I'm innocent, but... we were quite stressed that day - he answered acting almost innocent, attempting to justify himself in vain.

\- Yes, of course... - you replied not entirely convinced, but at the same time amused by his behaviour.

There was a little pause between the two of you. Suddenly, in all seriousness, his question came up.

\- Are you all right, _cyar'ika_? I heard... things were pretty rough the other day... - he alluded, not entirely ending that sentence.

\- I did, but several others couldn't make it, it was a disaster and both sides had a lot of casualties - you said, trying to keep a neutral tone.

It had been a massacre. Inside you, still, vivid all the images of the things you had seen, dead men, clones and allies, destroyed cities and a lost planet. You knew well how protective and loyal they were to each other and how they had been constantly treated so far, so you decided to spare them the details, it was probably one of the bloodiest battles you had been involved in.

\- It's just that... things like this make me angry, I hate being trapped here doing the same thing every day. I... we want to do more, we belong on the battlefield, we should all be out there fighting, I should be out there fighting and protecting... you - he said, his tone fierce yet sad at the same time.

You knew too well how stubborn and passionate he could be, but somehow thinking of him safe on Kamino helped ease your constant fear.

\- Hey, I can protect myself very well, thank you! And you...you’re probably safer out there than we are - you answered, trying to brighten the mood.

\- But that's the point, we were born as soldiers, it's our duty, my duty... - he added vehemently.

\- Anyway, the work you're doing is crucial, training new soldiers are your speciality, we spoke about that already... - you told him, hoping to calm him down - everyone has a role in this gigantic mess, yours is to set an example... -

\- Not much of an example with yesterday's stunt... - he added - sure the others won't let me forget about it anytime soon, huh?- now with a hint of a smile...

\- Nobody's perfect, not even you... - you answered him with a hint of sarcasm...

_______

The whole situation was made easier by your direct superiors, after those days in the facility you were formally requested that you and the commander of the Rancor battalion remain in contact for further updates.

So most of your communications were highly professional in front of generals and other clones. In front of them, you avoided even looking at each other. And then there were the private ones. Not as frequent as you wanted, but certainly often enough. Most of the time you just talked. You let him know everything was fine and he admitted how difficult it was to avoid looking at you during formal calls. Other times when you were sure you were completely alone, you both tried to... let's say, make up for lost time...

Soon you realized that even though you didn't completely believe it, you both had a special bonding... not like that thing the Jedi called the force, but it was real and that was enough for both of you.

_______

\- You...you really should stop making fun of me, you know? - he quipped.

\- But I was having so much fun ...- you said, not holding back a little laugh...

\- I can tell, but then you'll deserve a punishment…- he said nonchalantly...

\- You can try, but know that I can take my risks...- you answered him, mocking his sudden boldness.

\- My little _verd_ , next time I see you, you'd better be prepared - he said. Leaving his answer vague, underlining the statement.

\- As usual, _al’verde_... - you retorded, having too much fun teasing him...

He sighs, you made him feel as alive as anyone ever has... so much so that he would have wanted to be there with you, now and the next day and for the rest of his life.

\- I miss you terribly, you know that? - he stated out of nowhere, changing the subject. 

He was even more relaxed at this point and you loved how he was always _very_ human around you. 

\- I hope so, or it would have been rather embarrassing - you said, keeping a playful tone - so, tell me, how was your day? Apart from being drunk on duty yesterday. Did they finally realize that you can be a fine army on your own? - you asked then.

\- Never - he answered you, partly joking partly serious, but always with a beaming smile - The other highlight of the day was with some old cadets who pulled a prank on the youngest. Nicely planned, if I may say. In the end, it was just another excuse to practice for a fight, even though I had to scold them anyway after - he said, his tone playful and kind.

**_He really cared about his cadets..._ **

\- Well... certainly better than mine - you stated - it was really boring being monitored all day in the sickbay... I was fine... I only suffered a minor concussion.

\- And... no one else to hang out with? - he wondered almost too eagerly...

You couldn't tell if he was still joking or if it was a hint of jealousy.

\- Commander! - You responded in shock. - Are you... jealous, perhaps? - the thought alone made you smile a little, still surprised by his question.

\- Maybe... who knows... - he shrugged and then smiled.

\- Well, that's new... but no, there's nobody... and as I told you, I'm pretty busy all day and at night I'm dead tired, the only person I want to hang out with is, well...not here - you responded almost immediately.

\- ...and you should go to sleep, not wasting your time with me... even though I can't get enough of you... I'm not that selfish... - he then said to you. It was almost caring, even with so much distance between the two of you.

\- I know and yes, I'll do it soon, I promise. I have to get up very early myself... but hey! I'm not wasting my time with you, you're probably the best thing that happened to me today - you replied back to him.

_______

You both said your goodbyes an hour later, struggling to let go of one another, but realizing that you both had duties for the next day.

He joked around the fact that " _as soon as I see you, I'll show everyone whom you belong to... no one would dare challenge a clone, not an ARC nonetheless_ ".

Whilst you replied, mocking him, by saying " _...and getting yourself arrested for breaking almost any regulations...I appreciate the thought but I prefer you safe and sound with me_ " which made him blush and smile a little - it was amazing how he could always be so shy but also so impossibly attractive still -... 

You also missed him terribly, much more than you expected, you missed everything about him, not only just physically, but the way his sweet words made you feel and the way he looked at you as if you were the most precious thing he had in the whole galaxy.

And that was more or less true.

There was no way you could visit Kamino again anytime soon and there was absolutely no way he could leave it, you were both stuck and eager for anything more. The only thing you could do for now was to hope that if you really belonged to each other, something would bring you both together again.

Things went quite smoothly for several weeks, talking almost constantly at the end of the day when you both returned to your quarters or when, surprisingly, you had some free time during working time, meanwhile maintaining a professional behaviour during official transmissions.

There was a time when your superior had you working late and all your comms were forgotten in your room, before this extra shift you thought you didn't need them, you weren’t expecting an official communication from Kamino and in the event of a personal message, you preferred to avoid being discovered...

\- _Kriff_ \- you silently cursed checking the schedule again. You didn't know how much longer you'd be stuck there, your regular shift was officially over two hours ago, but your new supervisor had been, literally, a pain in the ass from the start.

\- _Hells_...- You were almost afraid that if Colt tried to call you, and there was no answer, he might start thinking anything... yes, he could be that insecure occasionally.

You didn't worry if he got angry or anything, it couldn't be, he wasn't that kind of person... it's just that you already had very little chance of calling each other during normal hours, if you added over time, the chances would become almost non-existent.

Throughout all your inner conflict and the various possibilities of being able to finish everything as soon as possible so that you could return to your quarters, your superior was totally unaware of everything that was going on, still with his face in the numerous protocols that he had to finish supervising.

When you returned to your room, it was just after midnight and it was already later than usual, you were worn out, you usually went to bed earlier, if you had no private calls. While you were lying on the bed, still in your uniform, you reached out to pick up the comms by the bed only to find out that you had missed not one but two messages, you began to think that maybe he was a little angry for missing his calls...

As you opened the first recording, you made yourself more comfortable... a faded blue light appeared in your room with a familiar figure.

Still wearing his armor, he probably called you first thing after returning to his private quarters.

\- _You're probably still working, so that's why you're not answering, of course, she's working... di’kut.._.-

- _I just... -I wanted to see you, hear from you, that's all, but I understand you're probably busier than usual after what happened the other day. Am I too clingy? Oh, hells... I am, I'm so sorry. It's just that right after you left... I just... I started dreaming and that, love, never happened to me. At first, I was completely confused, I'm used to being stoic and not showing any emotion, I even had nightmares from time to time, just like my brothers, but then I started to understand, you started something that I can't explain and that's beyond my genetics, I want things now, I have desires...I even started to get jealous, no wonder_ \- he stopped all of a sudden, sitting on the floor with his head in his hands.

- _...that's why I'm trying to do everything I can to be sent out there...to be able to meet you again, to have more than one day alone with you, I'm trying, this is the only thing I can promise you...all this, all this between you and me might have started out as something purely physical, but I'm afraid I'm starting to have feelings for you, believe me, it wasn't a one-time thing.... ...at least not for me_ \- now looking in front of him as if he were looking directly at you... and your breath stopped for a moment.

 **_Oh, how handsome he was..._ ** ********

_\- I hope you don't regret anything we did or said -_ he added a second later.

 _-...I just want to see you again so badly. I miss you so much that sometimes it even hurts to breathe but right now, I'm here rambling on the floor -_ chuckling as he says it and a beautiful smile brightened up his face.

**_God, his smile... you didn't remember it so beautiful..._ **

- _I wonder how stupid I look right now? Completely off the charts, if I’m right... I'm glad I’m alone or I would have been teased over and over again by my team -_ he stopped for a moment... and then continued _-... please, as soon as you see this message answer me, will you? Sleep well…_ -

You almost cried, seeing him like that, so vulnerable, so much so that he bared his soul in front of you. He was right, there was something unique between the two of you that couldn't be explained, you had been thinking it for a while... and that's what scared you the most...

The second message was shorter and recorded not long after the last one...

\- _Me again... don't worry, everything's fine, I was just thinking..._ \- he was sitting on his bed, bare-chested, with nothing but his pants on, and you had a hard time concentrating for a moment...

**_Oh yeah, you missed everything about him..._ **

\- _Do you still want the same as me? Or have you changed your mind? It’s okay if... if you did... I mean, are you still happy about all this? I know it's complicated and I'm sorry... I don't know why I'm so insecure or... or rather... I can think of a million reasons why, but right now I'm starting to figure it all out... it's so overwhelming_ \- seeing him so insecure about the whole situation made your heart ache. All you wanted to do was to reassure him, hug him and kiss him again just to let him know how much you care about him too...

\- _I hope to talk to you soon, in person, about all this and what exactly is going on between us... and make up for lost time probably... I have so much I want to tell you and so much more I want to do... Well, I'd better go and get some sleep now... Good night, love, I love you_ …-

No matter how tired you were, you felt the need to answer him right away. He asked you to do it, no he begged you to do it... even if only to let him know that you were still happy about the whole situation and yes, you loved him as much as he loved you. Even you had started dreaming again, and in times like these it wasn't exactly easy and you had only him to thank for it.

You would always be there for him, no matter what would happen.

_______

The next day, not hearing him at all didn't bother you at all, just because you knew how long and stressful his schedule was on certain days.

But fate was about to play a huge role in your life, giving you the biggest shock you ever had.

It was almost the end of your shift when you first received the news, Kamino was under attack and all available troops were already on their way to the planet, first of all, the 501st.

In an instant, panic took over, but what you really needed now was to focus, even though you were scared to death, knowing all too well that many lives depended on you, including Colt's.

You were trying, you were really trying... but Rancor Battalion was out of range and all communications with the planet had been shut down, your station was only getting messages from the Generals or Captain Rex himself.

The situation was tense, everyone was on edge and waiting for any updates since all available troops were on site, this was the only thing you were able to do at the moment.

The battle was brutal and many clones, cadets and veterans fell under enemy fire, but luckily many others survived.

You started to breathe again when you finally got an update from Rancor squad themselves. It was Havoc who sent out the message.

Part of his battalion and others were in the medbay, but everyone was alive, wounded but safe, except for the casualties which everyone already knew about. The 501st offered to stay there for a couple of days to assist and then they would be back safely to Coruscant.

It was an official communication, so you didn't even dare ask how Colt was doing, you had to stay professional, even though your mind was wandering on how bad the situation really was.

_______

Lucky for you, you heard from him two days later, he was out of bed but still confined to his quarters, broken but alive...

It was shocking at first, he had a gauze on his chest that went around his left shoulder, a rather large bacta patch on his right side, and a scar that ran from his left temple to the back of his neck.

\- Charming as usual, I see - you stated jokingly.

\- Well... I've had a few close encounters... let's say... - he retorted, forcing a smile...

He sat the whole time you both talked, clutching his side, probably more in pain than he wanted to show. But he had great news, very important news to tell you.

\- Captain Rex himself asked me... well, he asked my team... to help him on the Outer Rim... - he said - so, as soon as I get back on my feet, me and the others will be outside Kamino -

The joy in his eyes was evident, the accent of a true smile while he was still all scarred and wounded.

-Well, that's really good news, isn't it? I mean, you're finally gonna be a part of this mess...- you answered him honestly.

Oh, you were really happy for him, also scared yes, just because you saw first hand what this war could do especially to his brothers, but you were truly happy, it was what he really wanted like he said many times, he just wanted to do his duty and help finish this brutal war.

\- I...yes - he began to say - but there's another thing, I'm going to need a communications officer while we’re mostly confined outside the galaxy, you know to keep up with the other battalions and the main base and...- 

But before he could finish, you were already answering him...

\- Yes... right, I can provide you with a team and send them to you immediately...- you prompted dutifully, your training already kicking in...

\- No, _cyare_ , I don't think you fully understand - he smiled at you, a whole smile, one of those he reserved only for you and spoke again - exactly, you... what are you going to do for the next few months? - 


End file.
